Jim's Articles

Divorce tips

Divorce is a very complex procedure and nobody should get through it alone. Do you need divorce tips? Whether you’re at the beginning of the divorce process or in the thick of it, I can’t stress enough how helpful it can be to share your experience with others who are in or have gone through a divorce. Connecting with someone who’s been in your shoes can help put things in perspective, or at least make you feel a little less alone. If you don’t already have a friend who has gone through divorce, you can seek out a community that suits you.

The more you can organize your own financial documents, the more you will reduce your attorney fees and improve your chances of success. You are going to have to gather and organize a lot of information for your attorney or your case. A good way of organizing the information you find is a financial statement which can be used as a checklist. Many courts have a form financial statement available at the court clerk’s office and sometimes online. If you can obtain this form and fill it out, it will help you gather and organize your financial information. Give it to your lawyer at the first meeting to save time and expense.

Allow time to fully heal and reconnect with yourself before entering another relationship of any kind. The process of divorce is emotionally grueling. There is a lot to sift through and heal from. This is not the time to look to soothe oneself by entering another relationship. People make this mistake all the time. I personally went into a rebound relationship with someone who was sadder than I (like truly attracts like). It devastated me when it ended because I sought happiness and fulfillment outside of myself. This only leads to the same pattern to happen again. Learning this hard lesson pushed me forward and transformed me. I have a totally different mindset toward unconditional love and relationships now and I share this with my clients all the time.

Mediation also provides divorcing couples a lot of flexibility, in terms of making their own decisions about what works best for their family, compared with the traditional adversarial legal process, which involves a court trial where a judge makes all the decisions. Mediation, however, is not appropriate for all couples. For example, if one spouse is hiding assets or income, and refuses to come clean, you may have to head to court where a judge can order your spouse to comply. Or, if one spouse is unwilling to compromise, mediation probably won’t work.

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